mmmfilletofsoul | 7th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

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[The last event left Cheyenne in a weird place and since then, she's been rather scarce around the village. Aside from getting food at one of the village restaurants, she's spent most of her time either in her apartment or in the forests just outside the village. Today, she's actually back to her usual spot: sitting on the edge of one of Luceti's many bridges, looking down at the water.]

[A few hours of this goes by until she finally opens her journal and poses a question to the residents. The very thing that's been on her mind all this time.]

It is not uncommon for others to ask questions using these journals, yes? [A pause. She wasn't really expecting an answer to that.]

...what do you think it means to be a "person"?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

illusional

[The fact that he doesn't immediately jump on the whole "eating souls" part speaks wonders.]

I am not certain "can't" is the right word to use. Rather, I have never used that term to define myself. I suppose I simply associated it with being human.

From:

winged_moon

[He's starting to get used to strange things, alas. But he'll come back to it.]

Then, to you a "person" is someone who is an ordinary human?

From:

illusional

Perhaps "human" is putting it in far too narrow a spectrum. In my previous world, I would be referring to elemen, who are rather similar to humans.

[A pause.] To be quite honest, this isn't something I have ever put much thought into. All creatures are simply creatures, whether they are human or otherwise.

From:

winged_moon

Then why the recent concern about it?

From:

illusional

...would it be correct to assume you were present in Luceti during the most recent experiment?

From:

winged_moon

Ah. Yes.

I imagine the situation you were in left you wondering, as well?

From:

illusional

Something like that.

To go from a "person" to a "monster" in an instant upon the experiment's end was... unpleasant, to say the least.

From:

winged_moon

I can sympathise somewhat, though not quite to that extent.

Does it make you think less of yourself? Or is it just something you hadn't considered before?

From:

illusional

Perhaps something I had not considered quite to the same extent as before. Although, to think less of myself...

[She trails off with a slight frown.] My apologies. My kind does not process emotions very well. I don't believe I am capable of properly explaining how I was affected.

From:

winged_moon

Ah, well. From what you've said I don't know if the usual definitions would really apply to you. If you want to consider yourself a person then I don't see why you shouldn't.

From:

illusional

I am not so certain that I want to consider myself a person. It seems... easier to believe otherwise.

From:

winged_moon

[He's quiet for a minute to think, then a little hesitant when he speaks again.]

Is it because of what you said, about needing to eat souls?

From:

illusional

Yes. I have lived my entire existence considering myself to be a monster. Thinking about it any other way is difficult for me.

From:

winged_moon

Because that's what other people call you?

From:

illusional

My kind had no name until other creatures developed one and pinned it upon us. It is simply what I have always been called and have always considered myself to be.

From:

winged_moon

[Another thoughtful pause.]

Then why was it unpleasant to return to that identity? Or did you think it was unpleasant to have been an ordinary person for a time?

From:

illusional

I am uncertain. Perhaps I had not considered my existence to be an unpleasant one before this event.

From:

winged_moon

Does it... hurt people, when you, mm, feed on their souls?

From:

illusional

No. The manner in which I feed now is harmless, so long as the creature I feed from is willing.

[A pause.] However, that has not always been the case.

From:

winged_moon

Does that affect the way you think of yourself?

From:

illusional

I fail to see how it wouldn't. My past is a part of what I am now.

From:

winged_moon

But does it make you less of a "monster" if your existence doesn't cause harm to others? Or does it make a difference?

From:

illusional

[There's a rather long pause.]

Unfortunately, being the sort of creature I am, my continued existence will cause harm whether it is my intention or not.

From:

winged_moon

Mm. Though I suppose that's true of regular people as well, in a way. They have to eat, build their homes, spread into the territory of other creatures... something always has to suffer so that others can live. I suppose it depends on the degree— or just the perspective.

From:

illusional

That is true, yes. However, the degree of that suffering can make all the difference.

I suppose illusionists, given the nature of what our "continued existence" requires, are a rather special case.