mmmfilletofsoul | 7th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

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[The last event left Cheyenne in a weird place and since then, she's been rather scarce around the village. Aside from getting food at one of the village restaurants, she's spent most of her time either in her apartment or in the forests just outside the village. Today, she's actually back to her usual spot: sitting on the edge of one of Luceti's many bridges, looking down at the water.]

[A few hours of this goes by until she finally opens her journal and poses a question to the residents. The very thing that's been on her mind all this time.]

It is not uncommon for others to ask questions using these journals, yes? [A pause. She wasn't really expecting an answer to that.]

...what do you think it means to be a "person"?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

winged_moon

Ah, well. From what you've said I don't know if the usual definitions would really apply to you. If you want to consider yourself a person then I don't see why you shouldn't.

From:

illusional

I am not so certain that I want to consider myself a person. It seems... easier to believe otherwise.

From:

winged_moon

[He's quiet for a minute to think, then a little hesitant when he speaks again.]

Is it because of what you said, about needing to eat souls?

From:

illusional

Yes. I have lived my entire existence considering myself to be a monster. Thinking about it any other way is difficult for me.

From:

winged_moon

Because that's what other people call you?

From:

illusional

My kind had no name until other creatures developed one and pinned it upon us. It is simply what I have always been called and have always considered myself to be.

From:

winged_moon

[Another thoughtful pause.]

Then why was it unpleasant to return to that identity? Or did you think it was unpleasant to have been an ordinary person for a time?

From:

illusional

I am uncertain. Perhaps I had not considered my existence to be an unpleasant one before this event.

From:

winged_moon

Does it... hurt people, when you, mm, feed on their souls?

From:

illusional

No. The manner in which I feed now is harmless, so long as the creature I feed from is willing.

[A pause.] However, that has not always been the case.

From:

winged_moon

Does that affect the way you think of yourself?

From:

illusional

I fail to see how it wouldn't. My past is a part of what I am now.

From:

winged_moon

But does it make you less of a "monster" if your existence doesn't cause harm to others? Or does it make a difference?

From:

illusional

[There's a rather long pause.]

Unfortunately, being the sort of creature I am, my continued existence will cause harm whether it is my intention or not.

From:

winged_moon

Mm. Though I suppose that's true of regular people as well, in a way. They have to eat, build their homes, spread into the territory of other creatures... something always has to suffer so that others can live. I suppose it depends on the degree— or just the perspective.

From:

illusional

That is true, yes. However, the degree of that suffering can make all the difference.

I suppose illusionists, given the nature of what our "continued existence" requires, are a rather special case.

From:

winged_moon

Perhaps so.

May I ask why it's different for you now? Was it a choice, or an effect of being here, or...? I mean, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, I just— I suppose I'm curious.

From:

illusional

Hm...

My kind is not meant to possess emotions. However, by some anomaly, I found myself capable of experiencing what I later learned to be "guilt". Thereafter, it became quite difficult to continue carrying on in the same manner I had been until that point.

From:

winged_moon

So you already weren't quite like the other... illusionists, then.

From:

illusional

No. If I were to be more like sisters, I do not believe I would even be capable of holding this conversation.

From:

winged_moon

I see.

[All right, he's pried enough, and more than enough. Yukito forces his smile back into place, trying to lighten his tone as he changes the subject. It's sometimes hard to tell from the small pictures on journal entries, but he's fairly sure....]

Would your name be, ah, Cheyenne, perhaps?

From:

illusional

Yes, it is. [For the most part, she doesn't mind the prying, although he had come rather close to those precious few topics she would rather not talk about...]

And you are?

From:

winged_moon

I'm Yukito. Tsukishiro Yukito. I work at Seventh Heaven— I've seen you around, and Sanji-san has mentioned you before.

From:

illusional

You are acquainted with Sanji? [Smile.]

My apologies for having not recognized you. I don't believe we'd spoken until now and I can only identify others by their voice over the journal.