4th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

[mmmfilletofsoul]

[The end of the event wasn't so much a relief for Cheyenne as it was the single most confusing thing to ever happen to her. Never mind that she had been so much younger. Never mind that for two weeks, the hunger was gone. Never mind that she saw colors and shapes and people and her friends and herself in the same way others have always seen. The main thing on her mind was how she had acted.]

[So many of her previous actions just... didn't make sense. Considering a child acts mostly based on their emotions, this shouldn't have been a surprise. Even though she had those emotions, and she can somewhat remember how they felt, she still doesn't know what they mean. Why was she in pain when she wasn't physically hurt? Why was she laughing? Why did seeing others smile make her feel so happy?]

[Eventually, she just gives up trying to make sense of it. Her emotions right now were hard enough without trying to sort out those of a child!]

My apologies for not addressing this sooner, but I would like to extend my graditude to those who took care of me when I was not myself during the last experiment.

I suppose these experiments are the sort of things one must become accustomed to while living in this village. This was the first one to have affected me in such a manner. However, if a similar extreme change should happen again, I do not believe I would mind. It was rather interesting, after all, being able to see the village through new eyes.

[A pause.]

Although, perhaps for the sake of those who were far less fortunate, it would be best to hope that such an experiment does not make a reappearance.

Comments

[Voice]

[illusional]

Quite literal, as a matter of fact. I have been told these journals show an image of the person speaking, yes?

[She brings her hand to the lower edge of her blindfold.] You may notice that I wear a blindfold over my eyes. Usually, I do not use them to see.

[Voice]

[de_bel_survivor]

Yeah. The journals have a small camera on them to record the image.

[He looks at the image, curiously.] I can see them. Since you don't use them, do you see things with something else?

[Voice]

[illusional]

I see though sense. My kind is capable of sensing the souls of living creatures around us. Anything without a soul tends to be a bit more difficult to see unless it is moving in some way.

[Voice]

[de_bel_survivor]

Seeing by sensing souls...it must be quite different from actually using your eyes.

[Voice]

[illusional]

It is certainly far more convenient for a creature such as myself. As every soul is unique, I need only see a creature once to commit their appearance to memory. Although, were it not for the fact that I had also been changed in many other ways, I believe I would have found it rather difficult to function without my usual vision.

[Voice]

[de_bel_survivor]

[Wonders what his soul would look like for a short moment.] That sounds very interesting.

It's not just your eyes? What else has changed?

[Voice]

[illusional]

[She'd probably be more than happy to explain if he asked! Then again, journals don't have soul-o-vision...] Hm, to put it simply, I was no longer the same sort of creature that I am now. Therefore, I found nothing strange in my altered vision, as I had no memories of ever being an illusionist.

Of course, now that I back to my former self, it does make the past few weeks a bit confusing.

[Voice]

[de_bel_survivor]

[They'll probably have to meet in person for that.] In a sense, you became 'normal' with no or altered memories. [He knows what she means about the memories part.]

After experiencing something like that, it did give us a lot to think about.

[Voice]

[illusional]

[She tilts her head to the side.] I feel it would be inaccurate to say I became "normal" seeing as the state I am in now is what I consider to be normal. I have been an illusionist far longer now than I ever was what I had been previously.

[Voice]

[de_bel_survivor]

I see. That would make sense, since you are used to being an illusionist.

[Voice]

[illusional]

That is true, yes. [A pause.]

Were you affected by the recent experiment as well?

[Voice]

[de_bel_survivor]

Yes, I was. They changed my memories and made me believed I had done some things differently.

[And made him go forward some months in the future, back home, along with the Bels.]

[Voice]

[illusional]

Hm. It seems as though that had been the case for quite a few people during these past few weeks.

[Voice]

[de_bel_survivor]

The differences really do cause some confusions. [Or danger.]

[Voice]

[illusional]

Yes, they certainly do. I find it difficult to understand many of my own actions these past two weeks, given the changes made to my usual behavior.

[Voice]

[de_bel_survivor]

Hm...what actions confused you?

[Voice]

[illusional]

I suppose it would be easier if I were to explain the change made to myself. You see, illusionists are creatures incapable of processing and understanding emotion.

However, during those two weeks, I was instead a creature whose actions are entirely based on its emotions, much like most humans. As such, I cannot fathom the reasoning behind most of what I did previously. There was no logic to it.

[Voice]

[de_bel_survivor]

['Incapable', huh...] No wonder you're so confused.

Not a lot of people can control their emotions or understand it completely, since you feel them, not think.

[Voice]

[illusional]

Hm. Such a handicap seems most inconvenient to a creature like myself. And yet I have been told it would be better for my emotions to develop past the limited point they are at right now.

Regardless, I have given up attempting to sort out the events of these past two weeks. Perhaps that is for the best.