mmmfilletofsoul | 4th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

[The end of the event wasn't so much a relief for Cheyenne as it was the single most confusing thing to ever happen to her. Never mind that she had been so much younger. Never mind that for two weeks, the hunger was gone. Never mind that she saw colors and shapes and people and her friends and herself in the same way others have always seen. The main thing on her mind was how she had acted.]

[So many of her previous actions just... didn't make sense. Considering a child acts mostly based on their emotions, this shouldn't have been a surprise. Even though she had those emotions, and she can somewhat remember how they felt, she still doesn't know what they mean. Why was she in pain when she wasn't physically hurt? Why was she laughing? Why did seeing others smile make her feel so happy?]

[Eventually, she just gives up trying to make sense of it. Her emotions right now were hard enough without trying to sort out those of a child!]

My apologies for not addressing this sooner, but I would like to extend my graditude to those who took care of me when I was not myself during the last experiment.

I suppose these experiments are the sort of things one must become accustomed to while living in this village. This was the first one to have affected me in such a manner. However, if a similar extreme change should happen again, I do not believe I would mind. It was rather interesting, after all, being able to see the village through new eyes.

[A pause.]

Although, perhaps for the sake of those who were far less fortunate, it would be best to hope that such an experiment does not make a reappearance.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I have already surmised that you were acting in an odd manner due to the experiment. And to be quite honest, I must admit that I have a hard time recalling whether your eyes looked "mean" or not, seeing as I have no idea what that would look like compared to eyes that look "kind".

[Smile.] Regardless, I am glad to have gotten the opportunity to see you.

I'm glad too, but I still wish I had been acting like my normal self back then.

I find myself wishing the same. Seeing as I was no longer an illusionist during those weeks, the sudden change back was rather... jarring, to say the least.

Are you alright? [You haven't eaten in two weeks, but then again you've been in a different body for two weeks.]

I suppose that I am, but it is all rather confusing. You know my kind is not accustomed to having emotions, and to feel them so strongly only to have them slip away... no, that is not the word...

Rather, I feel as though everything I have done these past two weeks are above my level of understanding. Nothing I can remember makes sense.

Maybe you're over thinking it; I don't think anyone really fully understands their emotions. They're just something you feel, no thought required.

That might be true for someone in full control of their emotions, but I am not. Whereas most creatures would associate smiling with happiness without a single thought, I must consciously make the effort to smile when I am happy. That is why, more often than not, I imagine my expression must appear rather neutral. [And speaking of, hey, it's the lineface again!]

Well, maybe eventually you'll just do it naturally. Everyone smiles differently after all. It doesn't always have to be with your lips.

[Ooh, you lost her.] ...how else would one smile?

Well, sometimes people don't smile even when they're happy. Some laugh, others sigh in content, it's all up to the individual really.

Hm. I suppose it will take time to learn these cues for when person is feeling happy. Thankfully, I generally don't need to depend on such things. I can sense a person's present emotional state through their soul.

Well... that's useful I guess, because even if you study forever I don't think anyone can fully learn the emotions of other. They're always changing and people sometimes show them differently.

Then perhaps you see why I have such trouble doing so. I am scarcely able to recognize many of my own emotions, let alone those of others.

Yeah, it's not easy at all, but there's time to work on learning.

4th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

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