mmmfilletofsoul: (How does I emotion?)
Cheyenne ([personal profile] mmmfilletofsoul) wrote2010-12-08 02:19 pm

4th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

[The end of the event wasn't so much a relief for Cheyenne as it was the single most confusing thing to ever happen to her. Never mind that she had been so much younger. Never mind that for two weeks, the hunger was gone. Never mind that she saw colors and shapes and people and her friends and herself in the same way others have always seen. The main thing on her mind was how she had acted.]

[So many of her previous actions just... didn't make sense. Considering a child acts mostly based on their emotions, this shouldn't have been a surprise. Even though she had those emotions, and she can somewhat remember how they felt, she still doesn't know what they mean. Why was she in pain when she wasn't physically hurt? Why was she laughing? Why did seeing others smile make her feel so happy?]

[Eventually, she just gives up trying to make sense of it. Her emotions right now were hard enough without trying to sort out those of a child!]


My apologies for not addressing this sooner, but I would like to extend my graditude to those who took care of me when I was not myself during the last experiment.

I suppose these experiments are the sort of things one must become accustomed to while living in this village. This was the first one to have affected me in such a manner. However, if a similar extreme change should happen again, I do not believe I would mind. It was rather interesting, after all, being able to see the village through new eyes.

[A pause.]

Although, perhaps for the sake of those who were far less fortunate, it would be best to hope that such an experiment does not make a reappearance.
illusional: (How does I emotion?)

[Voice/Filtered from Legato]

[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 12:03 am (UTC)(link)
I find myself wishing the same. Seeing as I was no longer an illusionist during those weeks, the sudden change back was rather... jarring, to say the least.
goldenglasses: (What-a-what?)

[Voice/Filtered from Legato]

[personal profile] goldenglasses 2010-12-10 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
Are you alright? [You haven't eaten in two weeks, but then again you've been in a different body for two weeks.]
illusional: (I am disappoint.)

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[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
I suppose that I am, but it is all rather confusing. You know my kind is not accustomed to having emotions, and to feel them so strongly only to have them slip away... no, that is not the word...

Rather, I feel as though everything I have done these past two weeks are above my level of understanding. Nothing I can remember makes sense.
goldenglasses: Maker on LJ (Default)

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[personal profile] goldenglasses 2010-12-10 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe you're over thinking it; I don't think anyone really fully understands their emotions. They're just something you feel, no thought required.

[Voice]

[identity profile] hakoiri.livejournal.com 2010-12-10 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
Monster . . . They're only following their instincts. [ But is that an excuse for feeding -- feeding on souls without control? And isn't uncontrollable behavior one primary trait of a "monster"? ]

I'm sorry, Cheyenne. I must sound so ignorant of your kind.
illusional: (:|)

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[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
That might be true for someone in full control of their emotions, but I am not. Whereas most creatures would associate smiling with happiness without a single thought, I must consciously make the effort to smile when I am happy. That is why, more often than not, I imagine my expression must appear rather neutral. [And speaking of, hey, it's the lineface again!]
illusional: (This /is/ my happy face!)

[Voice]

[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
There is no reason to apologize, Alf. All anyone knows of illusionists is what I tell them. Perhaps I am at fault for not taking the time to better explain what it is I am, especially to one who has so graciously offered their own soul to me.
goldenglasses: Maker on LJ (At peace - halfway there)

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[personal profile] goldenglasses 2010-12-10 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
Well, maybe eventually you'll just do it naturally. Everyone smiles differently after all. It doesn't always have to be with your lips.
illusional: (What is this I don't even...)

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[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
[Ooh, you lost her.] ...how else would one smile?
goldenglasses: Maker on LJ (What do you mean I don't look innocent?)

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[personal profile] goldenglasses 2010-12-10 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
Well, sometimes people don't smile even when they're happy. Some laugh, others sigh in content, it's all up to the individual really.

[Voice]

[identity profile] hakoiri.livejournal.com 2010-12-10 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
It is my pleasure to help you in any way I am able, and it was indeed I who offered. The fault most certainly doesn't lie with you! You've already explained more than I could ask for.
illusional: (:|)

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[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
Hm. I suppose it will take time to learn these cues for when person is feeling happy. Thankfully, I generally don't need to depend on such things. I can sense a person's present emotional state through their soul.
goldenglasses: Maker on LJ (Default)

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[personal profile] goldenglasses 2010-12-10 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
Well... that's useful I guess, because even if you study forever I don't think anyone can fully learn the emotions of other. They're always changing and people sometimes show them differently.
illusional: (Oh how shocking! [/sarcasm])

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[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
Then perhaps you see why I have such trouble doing so. I am scarcely able to recognize many of my own emotions, let alone those of others.
illusional: (A rare smile.)

[Voice]

[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
Your words are most kind, Alf.

Still, if there is ever anything else you would like to know, I have no problem with explaining to the best of my ability.

[Voice]

[identity profile] hakoiri.livejournal.com 2010-12-10 06:45 am (UTC)(link)
You've told me enough for today. I don't want to bother you with too many questions; however, in deference to your offer, I'll let you know when I'm curious. Thank you.
illusional: (Innocent until proven guilty.)

[Voice]

[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
Of course.

[A pause.]

Actually, if you do not mind, might I ask you a question, Alf?

[Voice]

[identity profile] hakoiri.livejournal.com 2010-12-10 06:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ Hm? ]

Ah, yes, of course. What is it . . . ?
illusional: (How does I emotion?)

[Voice]

[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 07:04 am (UTC)(link)
I was merely wondering how you faired during the recent experiment. Nothing too unpleasant, I would hope?

[Voice]

[identity profile] hakoiri.livejournal.com 2010-12-10 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
N-no, nothing unpleasant, fortunately. [ How to say this, ] I remembered a different life, and I was mostly content during that time.
illusional: (What does that even mean...?)

[Voice]

[personal profile] illusional 2010-12-10 08:44 am (UTC)(link)
A different life? [She tilts her head.] You mean to say you believed you were someone else?
goldenglasses: Maker on LJ (Default)

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[personal profile] goldenglasses 2010-12-10 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, it's not easy at all, but there's time to work on learning.

[Voice]

[identity profile] hakoiri.livejournal.com 2010-12-11 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
Something like that. I was still myself, but my memories were . . . different.
de_bel_survivor: (Um > Erm...)

[Voice]

[personal profile] de_bel_survivor 2010-12-11 09:30 am (UTC)(link)
I see. That would make sense, since you are used to being an illusionist.

[Voice]

[identity profile] oda-hates-me.livejournal.com 2010-12-12 10:10 am (UTC)(link)
[There you are... and yes, you definitely sound like the Cheyenne he's familiar with]

It's never any trouble taking care of little ladies, Cheyenne-chan~!

[Though he'll miss the more excitable version]

And you're alright?

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